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Four things you can’t recover: The stone after the throw, The word after it’s said, The occasion after it’s missed, The time after it’s gone.
If you’ve ever read the book The Five Love Languages, you know that people express and receive love primarily in one or two of the following ways: Gifts, Quality Time, Touch, Acts of Service, and Words of Affirmation. One is not better than another, and it’s not that we don’t know how, or never speak the other four Love Languages. However, one of the above is our Primary Language. It’s the one we speak fluently, frequently, and freely, often not only to express our love, but also our anger. It’s the language we value most, because we understand it best. It’s the one that for “us” carries the most weight, because after all, it’s OUR Primary Language! The problem here is not what language we prefer, it’s that other people prefer, and understand different languages. How well we learn to speak, and interpret other’s Love Language makes all the difference in our relationship with them! I admit, I am a “Word” person. I speak too many, too much, and have used them like knives at times to get my point across. My husband once told me he was going to buy me chocolate shoes, so that the next time I put my foot in my mouth it wouldn’t taste so bad! LOL.
One of the hardest things about the tragedy of losing a Loved One are the careless words from well meaning people. “I KNOW exactly what you’re going through.” (No, you don’t. You may have experienced a loss like mine, but you Don’t know exactly how I feel, or what I’m going through.), “I would never get remarried if I lost my spouse.” (You have no idea what you would do until you experience that loss, which I pray you never do, and if you do get married, or you don’t is solely up to you.) “Don’t you think it’s time you move on?” (Ummm . . .I’m sorry my grief is bothering you, but you don’t just “move on”, you learn to move through the waves of grief, and walk as best you can with a limp.) “Don’t you think you’re moving a little too fast?” (I’m sorry that you think I haven’t grieved enough for your standards. Just because I take a step in a forward direction, does not mean I’m not still grieving, I’m just learning to live my New Life. My Loved One died, but I did not.).
To be clear, I know I have spoken words carelessly, we all have. Matthew 12:36 “But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.” But remember this – – NOT everyone has earned the right to speak into your life! When a person has invested in your life by purposefully choosing to have a relationship with you, and love you with a thoughtful gift, a comforting touch when you needed it most, quality time to just listen, acts of serving you when you were too weak to serve yourself, or words of affirmation when your soul was dry and weary, THEN they have earned the right to speak into your life! Proverbs 18:4 “A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.”
As I read about the life of Jesus here on Earth, I stand in amazement of His ability to love ALL people in the language THEY understand, and needed at that exact time. To the lepers ~ Jesus touched them first, then He healed them. To the outcasts ~ He hung out with them first, then He invited them into His family. To the followers ~ He served them first, then He equipped them to be leaders. To the ashamed ~ He renamed and affirmed them first, then He gave them the joy of redemption. To the needy ~ He gave them gifts to solve their immediate need, then He gave them the gift of Eternal life. To the condemned ~ He forgave them first, then He saved them. Jesus was the Master at speaking everyone’s Love Language, because He Is Love, and He could interpret what people needed even when they didn’t know what they needed, or how to express it.
Jesus invested in a “relationship” with people right where they were in their life, BEFORE He invested His very life on a cross to make sure they would spend Eternity with Him. He invested His time, His gifts, His service, His touch, and His words, into other’s lives. He did this BEFORE they deserved it, and BEFORE they loved Him in return. But . . . to those people who were not interested in relationship, nor love, He moved on! He didn’t debate who He was, nor did He question His purpose, and power. He simply offered His life for anyone who would accept it, and loved them regardless of whether or not they loved Him in return! Is it any wonder why we call Him “Savior”?! Jesus EARNED the right to speak into our lives, because He loved us at our worst, and gave us only His best!
Thank You Jesus for showing us how true LOVE acts. Help me to invest in people’s lives through relationship, even when it’s not convenient, or easy. Give me Your supernatural insight to show love to others in the way THEY can best receive it, and understand it, even when they don’t know what they need, or they’re not able to express it! Use me as Your Hands, and Feet of LOVE today to another weary soul. Help me to love even when I need to walk away. YOU give me my identity, and my purpose; therefore, I am free to just Love like YOU loved me! “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34
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Once again, we are here if you need us! Reach out to Pastor Terry at [email protected]
Want to know more? Take the Five Love Languages Test