As I started working on this week’s newsletter, I had to acknowledge that I’m just tired. Too tired. When I get this way things start slipping thru the cracks. The house isn’t as clean, mail is piled, there’s a stack of to-dos on the dining room table. I’m not listening to the Daily Dose every day, I might have missed church, did I pray today? Did I include God in my day? I don’t know … I’m tired.
I was cruising around the internet looking for some inspiration for this week and came upon this blog by Cassidy Poe.
Short story is Cassidy is in her early 20’s and has a debilitating disease called Hypokalemic Periodic Paralysis which causes episodes of temporary paralysis in her arms and legs, accompanied by severe tremors, among other things. These episodes can happen as many as 18 times per month.
Here is a portion of what she wrote on her About You blog page:
I TELL YOU THIS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NO STRANGER TO LONELINESS, DISAPPOINTMENT, SICKNESS, TO FAILURE.
But evenso, my story doesn’t end there. Jesus graciously enters the picture and He changes everything. My hope is not in being healed; my hope is in Jesus. My hope is not in leading a “normal life”; my hope is in Jesus. My hope is not in finishing my degree or holding a job to contribute to society; my hope is in Jesus. My hope is not in having children or getting married; my hope is in the steadfast love and strength of Jesus.
HIS LOVE IS GREATER.
His love is stronger. In fact, almost 9 years later, I am even more convinced of one resounding point: God is still good and worthy of our worship. Throughout this season of weakness, He has shown himself strong and faithful. He has granted me His victory. I have learned that in light of His power, my weakness is always going to be irrelevant.
Do check out her blog, it is absolutely lovely.
SEEKING GOD WHEN YOU ARE TIRED, WEARY, & WORN OUT
“Lord, don’t you know that I’m tired?” This seems to be a constant phrase that rings through my heart lately. When my heart is pleading out to the Lord with this question, I mean tired emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. After a decade of dealing with the day to day rhythms of chronic illness and disability, I sometimes feel much less like a conqueror and more like I’m just hanging on. Because all of me is tired.
CAN I TAKE A SHOT IN THE DARK FOR A MOMENT AND GUESS THAT YOU TOO ARE TIRED? WEARY? WORN OUT? MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE BROKEN?
If so, you’re in good company. Scripture is filled with tired, weary, and worn out men and women that God strengthened to do amazing and extraordinary things. People like David, Ruth, Abraham, Moses, Paul, Job, and our sweet Savior, Jesus.
These giants of faith in Scripture are wonderful examples of not only what it means to be faithful in hard moments, but they teach us valuable lessons about what it looks like to seek God, even whenever we feel like we have nothing left inside of us to give.
So what exactly does seeking God look like when all of you is tired?
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TAKE THE FIRST STEP; JUST SHOW UP
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Don’t get me wrong, having a structured and consistent Bible study routine is amazing. Setting aside specific time to meet with the Lord is a powerful thing and we should be spending time with Him each day.
But so often, when we are tired, weary, and worn out it is easy to get caught up in the logistics of what our time with the Lord “should” look like that we get so discouraged and don’t show up at all. I know I can fall prey to “analysis paralysis” from time to time and not take action because I can’t do it perfectly.
Or maybe we see the amazing Bible journaling pictures on Instagram and lament how we don’t have the time, energy, or ability to do something like that.
BUT YOUR TIME WITH THE LORD DOESN’T HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A PRETTY INSTAGRAM PICTURE OR BE AS LENGTHY AS THAT OTHER GIRL WHO CAN SPEND OVER AN HOUR EVERY SINGLE MORNING WITH THE LORD.
We are called to be obedient in showing up, spending time with Jesus, and studying the Word. The great news is that there is not just one right way to do this. I personally idealize having my big study Bible out with my Greek and Hebrew origin Bible and multiple commentaries to pour over – finished off with thoughtfully praying and writing in my prayer Journal.
Whenever I can do this, I love it and get so much out of it! But then when I can’t, I tend to over analyze and skip over that day because it can’t look a certain way. Honestly, there is maybe a little guilt there too that is definitely not God-given. God has really been working on my heart to simply come in obedience to nurture my relationship with Him.
Today, if you are getting so caught up in the details, put aside your expectations of what you think your time with the Lord should look like and simply come. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
JAMES 4:8, ESV
If we are coming with the intention to draw near to the Lord, He is faithful to draw near to us too.
SOME IDEAS FOR GETTING STARTED WHEN YOU’RE TIRED, WEARY, AND WORN:
Take one verse and meditate on it, pray over it, and do something creative with it to help you hide it in your heart.
Listen to a specific chapter while you rest.
Find a Podcast that host’s your favorite pastor and listen to a message.
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BE VULNERABLE BEFORE THE LORD.
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I don’t know about you, but when I am worn out it can feel like vulnerability takes A LOT of effort. Especially whenever my weary is as a result of pain or brokenness. During the most difficult days, weeks, and seasons of our lives it is much easier to retreat into ourselves. A lot of times, whether we realize it or not, we can be holding the Lord at arms length in our heart. To truly seek God, we need to intentionally open up our hearts to let Him move however He wants to move.
This is one of the things that I love about David. Most of the time when we see Him crying out to the Lord, it is from a place of weariness, pain, or brokenness. Whether he was running from Saul or repenting over His sin, He laid it all out there before the Lord. This can be said about both His praise and His pleas. He wasn’t concerned with what it looked liked or how long it lasted. He simply brought His weary before the Lord.
PSALM 143 IS A BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE OF THE WAY DAVID EXERCISED VULNERABILITY BEFORE THE LORD. HE COMPLETELY POURED OUT HIS HEART.
Something that I think we can take away from the vulnerability David showed before the Lord is that there is a place for you at the foot of the Cross. Sometimes, we allow our circumstances, weaknesses, or mistakes to trick us into thinking we can’t come before God.
But David, someone who committed adultery and orchestrated the death of his adulteress’ husband, was seen as a man after God’s own heart. Not because he never made mistakes or never became tired or discouraged, but because He continually sought the Lord, had a humble heart, and continued to seek God’s face.
I find so much peace in this because the things that leave us tired, weary, and broken can be powerful invitations to bring our hearts before the Lord and have fellowship with Him if we let them. He wants us to simply come and talk to Him about it; to share our hearts with Him. Let Him speak to us through His Word. He desires that intimacy and fellowship with us.
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MEMORIZE AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SCRIPTURE.
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Whenever I wrote the phrase “memorize Scripture”, I could feel my heart say once more, “Lord, don’t you know that I am tired?”. But someone very dear to me once told me that hiding Scripture in our heart is a foundation for Holy Spirit to pull from whenever we need it most.
Bringing Scripture to our hearts and reminding us of what the Word of God says is one of the many ways Holy Spirit ministers to our hearts. In our deepest moments of grief, pain, weakness, and weariness, Holy Spirit can comfort us by bringing alive Scripture we have hidden in our hearts.
There are days whenever the Word of God that we meditate on is that which we have hidden in our hearts. There are moments that the Scripture that we need and cling to are the passages we have hidden in our hearts.
You see, seeking after God isn’t necessarily a daily routine to be accomplished and checked off a list as much as it is a lifestyle.
MEETING WITH GOD EVERYDAY IS IMPORTANT, BUT SEEKING AFTER GOD DOESN’T END WHENEVER WE PUT OUR BIBLES, JOURNALS, AND HIGHLIGHTERS AWAY.
An easy way that I like to surround myself with Scripture and hide God’s word in my heart is to hang up my favorite verses around my house. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. For example, I write whatever verses have been impacting me on index cards and tape them to my mirror. Or I take a dry erase marker and write the verse on the mirror itself. You can also save an image of the verse as a lock screen cover or doodle it on a piece of paper.
This is what my bathroom mirror currently looks like. Purple sharpie and a verse that means a lot to me. It’s not revolutionary, but it is simple and I see and read it every day.
GOD KNOWS YOU ARE TIRED.
This might seem really simple, but all too often, I see people who are walking around in shame and guilt over their weariness and tiredness; their humanity. But I’ll let you in on a secret; God knows you are tired. I’ll go a step further and say that He knows you are tired because He created you. Every single fiber of your being, the way your DNA is structured. He is intimately acquainted with your weaknesses and limitations because you were handmade by God.
So today, if you are letting shame and guilt over your weariness’s and weakness keep you from spending time in the Word or spending time with Jesus, then maybe it’s time to take that first step and simply show up in obedience. The beautiful thing I love about the Lord is He never leaves us in our weary.
I hope this is encouraging to you. It was to me.
For God and you,
Deb Bostwick
Singles Blogger